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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28218423">Should You Need Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/warm_or_cold/pseuds/warm_or_cold'>warm_or_cold</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Fluff, Romance, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 14:41:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,914</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28218423</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/warm_or_cold/pseuds/warm_or_cold</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>following the death of your former master, you’re assigned to obi-wan kenobi as his new padawan. one night, you awaken out of a nightmare. obi-wan senses your distress through the force and comes to your room, despite knowing that alone with you is the most dangerous place for him to be.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Obi-Wan Kenobi/Reader, Obi-Wan Kenobi/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>145</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Nnno…no…MASTER,” you screamed, gasping as you awoke alone in your dark bedroom at the Jedi Temple. Your heart was racing as beads of sweat slid down your warm back. Crumpling in on yourself, you held your face in your hands, trying to find your composure.</p><p>With nothing illuminating your surroundings but a sliver of moonlight falling across the bed, your room somehow felt even smaller at night. You struggled to ease your mind away from the violent images that were still flashing through your thoughts. Suddenly, you heard a gentle, single knock at the door.</p><p><em>Obi-Wan</em>. You had been so lost in recovering from the nightmare that you hadn’t sensed him approaching through the force. Then again, you weren’t exactly attuned to one another yet anyway. “Come in,” you called, your voice shakier than expected.</p><p>Your master stepped halfway into the room, lingering in the doorway, “I felt a disturbance. Are you alright, young one?”</p><p>Your face burned in embarrassment. You still weren’t used to having Obi-Wan pay attention to your force signature, much less in the middle of the night. Hoping the darkness would conceal your flushed cheeks, you drew your emotions in closer to you and away from Obi-Wan’s gently probing senses.</p><p>“It was only a dream,” you spoke barely louder than a whisper, “I’m sorry for waking you, Master.”</p><p>Obi-Wan stepped fully inside and leaned against the door as it closed. Seeming to read your thoughts even without the force, he asked “it was about that night, wasn’t it? You dreamt of losing her again.”</p><p>You gazed down at your hands as they twisted your white bedsheet nervously. It had only been a few months since your former master had fallen, right in front of you. <em>Rosha Taan</em>. You held the sound of her name warmly in your mind.</p><p>Master Taan had chosen you as a youngling, claiming you as her protégée even then. Rosha Taan wasn’t just any Master, she was a Jedi Sentinal, equally as skilled in her knowledge of the force as she was in battle.</p><p>Everything about her had been a contradiction in the most interesting of ways. She was as compassionate as she was strong, as dangerous as she was beautiful, as dedicated to the Order as she was to serving justice and bringing peace, whatever the cost. She had been the most important person in your life, despite being told to resist forming attachments.</p><p>Obi-Wan stepped forward, snapping you out of your wandering thoughts, “I know it’s difficult to lose someone with much import in your life. I am truly sorry that it has caused you great pain.”</p><p>You looked up at him, studying his face. Somehow even in the middle of the night, he was level headed and calm. The waves of his hair framing the strong features of his face. His eyes as alert and kind as ever. Then you remembered he was only here because you lost <em>her</em>. Tears began welling up within your eyes. You were ashamed to lose control of your emotions like this in front of him, but there was no stopping it now.</p><p>His brow furrowed, clearly seeing you resisting the tears threatening to fall down your face. You held your breath, waiting to be admonished for the outright display of unchecked emotion. To your surprise, he lowered himself to sit at the edge of your bed, his gaze never leaving you. His cerulean eyes seemed almost silver when they caught the stream of moonlight falling across the room.</p><p>“You did everything that you could. Everything that was expected. You followed her orders, as you should have. She would be proud of you, padawan,” a single tear finally slipped down your cheek as he continued, “I can never replace Rosha but I hope to honor her by guiding you…helping you grow. You <em>will</em> be a great Sentinal.”</p><p>You quickly wiped away the tears that had begun streaming down your cheeks. You could hardly process what he had said. The embarrassment, the heartache, the fear, it was all too much at once and you couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.</p><p>Since you had been transferred to Obi-Wan, he’d rarely spoken more than a few words to you. You’d begun to think he was upset with the council for asking him to take on another padawan so soon after Anakin had graduated to Knight.</p><p>But now here he was, late in the night, sitting in your room, allowing you to cry before him as he attempted to comfort you. More than that, asserting that he still believes he can make a fully fledged Sentinal out of you.</p><p>You were still looking down, struggling unsuccessfully to gain control of yourself when you heard him speak your name gently. You looked up, making eye contact.</p><p>You were focused on holding your force signature close to you when you felt the gentle brushing of his reaching out to yours. The sensation was like a gentle breeze delicately sweeping across your mind. His eyes continued to focus only on you.</p><p>You relaxed slightly, allowing yourself to feel the force through Obi-Wan. You closed your eyes as a chill rushed through you, bringing a sudden calm through the connection. Your mind felt steadier and the heat began to leave your face as the tension you’d previously felt was washed away.</p><p>You dropped the walls from your mind and allowed the force to flow more freely from you, sending the warmth of your gratitude and newfound comfort rippling toward your Master. Obi-Wan’s smile grew warmer as the sensation broke like a small wave against him.</p><p>You stayed like that for a moment. Searching each other’s eyes, content in your newfound connection through the force. Finally, Obi-Wan stood, moving back toward the door before turning to say, “for the record, you don’t have to hide anything from me. I’ll always be here to protect you, should you need me.”</p><p>Before you could think of a response, he was already closing the door with a light <em>click</em>. You slept soundly the rest of the night.</p><p>———</p><p>Obi-Wan’s steps were purposeful as he paced away from your room. His robe swished behind him with each step in the shadowed hall. He was focused solely on the tempo of his breathing, willing his mind to clear with the distance he was putting between himself and you.</p><p>He growled in frustration. Each time his thoughts would dissipate, suddenly your face would appear in his mind, or the memory of your scent. Your eyes had been so wide as he’d opened the door, your skin flushed and warm.</p><p>He shook his head roughly, <em>Control yourself, Kenobi. </em>This had been precisely his concern when the council first approached him to become your new master.</p><p>He still remembered the moment. He had been talking with Mace Windu when the news of Master Rosha’s death and your safe return had spread to the temple. Mace had turned to Obi-Wan stating intuitively, “the council will want you to finish the girl’s training.”</p><p>“Me,” Obi-Wan questioned, “I’ve only just graduated Anakin. Why would they look to me?”</p><p>Hours later, Obi-Wan had been called into a meeting with the High Council and asked the same question to them directly.</p><p>“Only a year left of training, she has,” Master Yoda spoke, “guided her well, Master Rosha did.”</p><p>Yoda looked intently at Obi-Wan, “A Jedi Guardian you may be, but a Consular’s spirit you have. Just what a potential Sentinal will need.”</p><p>Obi-Wan felt there was nothing left to say. He had no reasonable explanation as to why he, a Jedi Master, would be unable to take on any padawan, much less one with so little training left to do. The large door to the council opened and you walked directly to him. As soon as he saw you, Obi-Wan purposefully cleared his mind of all thoughts.</p><p>Master Yoda had spoken to you, confirming Obi-Wan as your new master and then the two of you left the room together. In the hall, you had looked up at him with those same eyes, full of emotion that he couldn’t quite place. You were beautiful, dangerously so. He couldn’t look away fast enough.</p><p>Shaking the memory from his mind, Obi-Wan finally reached his own chambers and nearly slammed the door behind him. He collapsed roughly on the bed, rubbing his eyes, willing the image of your skin shimmering in the moonlight out of his mind. It appeared to be so smooth he wondered if it could even be felt under his touch.</p><p>He cursed, standing again, moving just to keep his thoughts at bay. He should have never gone to you. Should have never risked entering your room, leaving the two of you alone. But when he awoke to the sensation of your terror, your pain, reaching for him, he had to act.</p><p>Obi-Wan had been stirred from his own sleep by your fear. Since becoming your master such a short time ago, the two of you had yet to develop a strong connection through the force. Now suddenly, your panic was invading his senses until it was nearly palpable. His breathing became rapid, his pulse raised with yours. <em>I must go to her </em>he had decided, blinded by the desire to end your suffering.</p><p>He sat back down on the bed, once again attempting to clear his mind with meditation. He focused on straightening the angle of his spine, on deliberately centering himself with the force.</p><p>His thoughts drifted slowly back to you, searching, and this time he simply allowed it. Obi-Wan reached out through the force until he felt the sensation of you again. He instantly felt his tension begin to dissipate, you were sleeping soundly.</p><p>The longer he reached out to you, the more connected you were to him. His heart began to beat in time with yours. His chest rose and fell with each breath you took. He leaned back, feeling the slow waves of your peace cresting against his senses. It was like this that Obi-Wan finally succumbed to sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Absolute Trust</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>obi-wan invites you to train with him. as your abilities in the force grow stronger, so does the simmering connection between you both.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The morning sun flooded your room, flickering across your sleeping face. Ambient noises began seeping into your dream as the city of Coruscant bustled outside, speeders coming and going, flying past the temple.</p><p>You were lost in a hazy dream, floating on a peaceful sea under the bluest of skies. A particularly loud ship passed by, pulling you out of your sleep. You glanced blearily around your small chambers.</p><p>Several weeks had passed since the night Obi-Wan had appeared at your door, but nearly every morning since, you’d awoken with the feeling that he had <em>just</em> been there. The hint of a smile spread across your face as you remembered the way he’d looked at you, wrapped in each other’s energy through the force.</p><p>Your days with him following that night had primarily been spent in the library with Obi-Wan educating you on various political topics and social structures throughout the galaxy.</p><p>Every now and then, you’d swear his hand would linger on yours as he passed you a book, or that his deep blue eyes would follow you as you moved about the room. But as soon as you’d notice, he would shift and suddenly you could barely get more than a few words out of him for the rest of the afternoon.</p><p>You readied yourself for the day before opening your door to find a neatly folded training suit with a note on top. Lifting the paper, you saw that it simply read “<em>Meet me in the Combat Training Chamber” </em>in an elegantly penned script that could only belong to one man.</p><p>Your heart beat a bit faster as you returned to your room to change. Obi-Wan had never asked you to spar with him before. You’d seen plenty of real combat with Master Taan and he knew that. Still, you did what he asked and changed into the pale brown, lightly padded suit.</p><p>Making your way deep into the center of the Temple, you saw Obi-Wan already waiting for you at the Combat Training Chamber. He was facing away from you, allowing you to study his figure uninterrupted. One arm was leaned against the doorway of the arena while the other hand rested on his hip. His broad shoulders were accented by his light tunic, cinched neatly at the waist by a thick brown utility belt. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t excited by just the sight of him.</p><p>Glancing past him for a moment, you studied the large, circular room. Everything was a creamy white color, from the high domed ceiling to the thin mats laid across the floor. It was entirely empty except for you and your new master.</p><p>Turning at the sound of your footsteps approaching, Obi-Wan looked you over, “glad to see the suit fits you nicely.”</p><p>You shrugged uncomfortably under the tight, restrictive fabric, “is this really necessary?”</p><p>He smirked, walking toward the center of the arena, “I’ll let you decide for yourself.”</p><p>Sighing heavily, you flicked your wrist, drawing your lightsaber through the force and ignighting the golden-yellow blade as the hilt reached your palm.</p><p>“Oh, no,” Obi-Wan chimed, “you won’t be needing that today.”</p><p>You raised out of your defensive stance, “then what am I…”</p><p>“Sit,” he stated, motioning to the center of the room without any further explanation.</p><p>Raising an eyebrow, you walked over to where he was directing, “you want me to…sit?”</p><p>Obi-Wan rolled his shoulders back, “I am aware that you’ve seen your fair share of combat with your former master.”</p><p>“However,” he ignighted his brilliant blue lightsaber, “as you know, the bond between a padawan and their master develops over years of daily training.”</p><p>He paced closer to where you were standing, “you and I haven’t had the luxury of spending years together.”</p><p>You were caught off guard as something sparked inside of you at the thought of spending <em>years together </em>with Obi-Wan. Your eyes followed him intently as he continued, captivated by the way he effortlessly spun his weapon.</p><p>“To be truly effective in the field requires absolute trust between Master and Padawan,” he looked at you, coming to a stop, “you must <em>know</em> that I will protect you, at all costs.”</p><p>You held his gaze for a moment, feeling a flutter in your stomach. Not trusting yourself to speak, you simply nodded. Obi-Wan stepped to the side of the room and returned with a heavy, silver helmet in hand.</p><p>Just as you were beginning to decipher his plan, he threw you off again, “a blinding helmet?!”</p><p>He stepped behind you, speaking lowly next to your ear, “trust me, remember?”</p><p>You stood perfectly still as Obi-Wan gently slid the helmet over you, the large visor blocking out your vision. His hands brushed against the tops of your shoulders with just enough pressure to encourage you to sit down. Your skin flushed as his hands lifted away and you sensed him disappear into the room behind you.</p><p>The sound of training remotes being released into the room started you. You focused on your breathing as the flying spheres buzzed all around you, poised for attack. Their jerky, uncoordinated movements made them nearly impossible to track. You never knew when or where one would fire next. Without notice, they each began shooting their non-lethal blasters at random.</p><p>The sound of Obi-Wan’s lightsaber deflecting the blasts caught your attention. He somehow moved from one end of the room to the other faster than you could follow. You were trying to mentally track his movements when the sound of a remote powering up close by caused you to flinch to the right, directly into its line of fire.</p><p>Gasping hard, you grabbed at the searing pain in your upper arm. The helmet was pulled off of your head as you looked up into Obi-Wan’s face, wincing. The remotes automatically stopped firing, waiting for their signal to begin again.</p><p>He squatted next to you, carefully lifting your fingers away from the charred material of your suit, still remarkably intact. He looked back up, smugly, “unnecessary, is it?”</p><p>You couldn’t help but laugh, “I’m not sure that’s an appropriate way to speak to your padawan when she’s just been shot.”</p><p>Obi-Wan’s eyes shone, “well, if my <em>padawan</em> would trust in me, she wouldn’t have been shot at all.” He remained there, still lightly holding your fingers in the palm of his hand, mere inches away from you.</p><p>“Try standing,” he brushed his thumb across your hand before pulling you to your feet, “it may help.”</p><p>Obi-Wan placed the helmet back over your eyes and the training began again. After a moment, you were finally attuned with your surroundings, allowing Obi-Wan and the remotes to move around you freely without disturbing your focus. Just as you were settling into a meditative state, you sensed a remote firing directly in front of you.</p><p><em><b>GET DOWN! </b></em>Obi-Wan’s voice suddenly commanded from within your own mind.</p><p>Startled by the sensation, you lost your footing as you felt the heat of the blast fly past your exposed neck. A strong arm wrapped around your waist, holding you steady.</p><p>Obi-Wan once again pulled the helmet from you with one hand, this time bracing the other against your waist. The remotes stopped firing while you breathed heavily, pressed against Obi-Wan’s chest. <b><em>Haven’t done this before, have we?</em></b> He spoke through the force.</p><p>His voice sounded softer somehow, as if it actually belonged among your own thoughts. He steadied you as you reluctantly stepped back from him. His hand seemed to linger at your hip a moment longer than necessary.</p><p>You noticed he was out of breath and somewhat disheveled from blocking blasters and defending you for the last…however long it had been. He tilted his head up breathing heavily before looking back down to you.</p><p>Obi-Wan ran a hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face, “I’d like to try something.”</p><p>You rubbed the charred spot on your arm, “does it involve me being shot at again?”</p><p>He chuckled as he lowering himself to sit on the floor, “not this time.”</p><p>You followed suit, crossing your legs in front of him, so close that your knees were barely touching. He made direct eye contact with you as he had that night in your chambers. You felt restless under his gaze but unable to look away.</p><p>“Meet me here,” he spoke softly.</p><p>At first you were unsure of what he meant, but then you felt it. He was reaching out to you through the force, the sensation as light as the brushing of fingertips.</p><p>You exhaled slowly, lowering your mental defenses, as the force slipped out of your consciousness, reaching toward him until your two energies mingled around you both.</p><p><b><em>Hello, there. </em></b>His words echoed from inside your own mind. Your eyes widened, looking between his as he smiled back at you.</p><p>You focused all of your senses on him alone, <em><b>Hello, Obi-Wan, </b></em>you mentally stuttered, squeezing your eyes closed,<em><b> I mean—Master. </b></em></p><p>He let out a hearty laugh and pride swelled within you for having caused his happiness. He reached a hand toward your face and your chest felt tight. Extending two fingers, he slowly traced them across your cheek before holding them at your temple. <em><b>Focus to strengthen the connection. </b></em></p><p>You continued looking directly into each other, but all you could focus on was the sensation of Obi-Wan’s fingers pressing against your skin. You attempting to reign in your thoughts as you continued to intertwine through the force.</p><p>For a moment you felt lightheaded, as if the ground below you was disappearing and all that held you in place was Obi-Wan’s touch. Slowly, you adjusted to the sensation of having his consciousness sweep against yours.</p><p><b><em>Now, stay with me. </em></b>Hespoke, stepping back to place the blinding helmet over his head before taking a defensive stance and bringing his lightsaber back to his hand.</p><p><em><b>I don’t understand. </b></em>Your eyes searched around the room as the remote spheres began to whirl menacingly.</p><p><em><b>Direct me </b></em>his voice was calm, as if this should be the simplest thing in the world, <em><b>tell me where to move. </b></em></p><p>You panicked at the sight of Obi-Wan entirely blinded, relying solely on you of all people. Not even a Knight, but a Padawan, and a broken one at that.</p><p>The remotes began glowing red. Your heart was beating out of your chest as your eyes flicked around the room and then back to your master, waiting for you to instruct him away from danger.</p><p>A remote fired before you could collect your thoughts, <b><em>LEFT</em></b> you shouted into Obi-Wan’s mind.</p><p>He took a step, easily deflecting the blast, <b><em>Stay calm, Padawan.</em></b></p><p>You had no time to think as the remotes began to take quick, consecutive shots. <b><em>RIGHT, BACK, BACK, NO! </em></b>You watched breathless as Obi-Wan obediently followed your misguided direction, allowing himself to be shot in the side.</p><p>He grunted but maintained his position, <em><b>Keep going</b></em>, he urged. A second blast was flying toward him as you gritted your teeth, pushing your consciousness hard through the force.</p><p>Something snapped and suddenly you were completely enmeshed with one another. Your vision blurred at the edges as yours and Obi-Wan’s sights were layered on top of one another.</p><p>With the use of your vision, Obi-Wan swung his lightsaber fluidly, flashes of blue surrounding you as he easily deflected the remotes’ blasts back into themselves, destroying each one. You watched him move, feeling him see through your eyes until the room was silent.</p><p>You exhaled heavily, doubling over in exhaustion as the connection collapsed. Obi-Wan dropped the helmet to the floor and knelt in front of you, concern covering his face as he placed his palm against your cheek.</p><p>He spoke your name almost reverently, “are you alright?”</p><p>You looked up at him, panting, “what was that?”</p><p>“Telepathy,” he stated, sounding perplexed, “actually, a Force Bond, I believe.”</p><p>Your brows pulled together in confusion, “but…how is that possible?”</p><p>“Historically, only great Masters in the force have the ability,” his hand slid down to gently lift your chin, “along with one very special padawan, it would seem.”</p><p>Obi-Wan’s eyes searched yours carefully before lowering his gaze to your slightly parted lips. You felt as if your very existence would end if he were to look away from you now.</p><p>“<em>Master</em>,” a familiar voice called from outside the arena.</p><p>Obi-Wan stood abruptly, looking toward the doorway, “ah, Anakin.”</p><p>The newly graduated Knight waltzed into the chamber, glancing around at the destroyed remotes scattered across the floor, “looks like you guys have been busy.”</p><p>You were still a bit stunned by what had just happened. The tender way that Obi-Wan had brushed his fingers along your chin was sending your heart into orbit. You struggled to appear calm as Anakin approached.</p><p>“Mind if I steal your master for a bit,” he smirked at you, “I’m in desperate need of his wisdom.”</p><p>“The understatement of the millennia,” Obi-Wan replied cheekily.</p><p>You glanced between the two of them, smiling at their banter, “I suppose padawans aren’t allowed in this briefing.”</p><p>“Not this time, youngling,” Anakin winked, “but I’ll have him back to you soon.”</p><p>Obi-Wan turned to you, his eyes seeming apologetic, “you did well today, very well,” he smiled softly.</p><p>You watched him turn to leave from your seat on the floor. Your heart pounding in your chest, at the sensation of having had him so close to you. Groaning, you fell back onto the mat behind you, entirely exhausted.</p><p>———</p><p>“So, what can I possibly do for you,” Obi-Wan quipped sarcastically as he and Anakin strolled side by side.</p><p>“Actually, Master,” Anakin replied with as much sincerity as he could muster, “I’m most interested in hearing about this new padawan of yours.”</p><p>Obi-Wan eyed him suspiciously, “and what exactly would you like to know?”</p><p>“How long you’ve been in love with her seems like a good place to start,” Anakin smiled wickedly as Obi-Wan stopped dead in his tracks, “and <em>please</em> don’t try to convince me that you’re not.”</p><p>Behind his purposefully composed exterior, Obi-Wan’s mind was furiously racing through every possible response, fumbling for the most convincing rebuttal he could assemble.</p><p>Running out of time to appropriately respond, he stated flatly, “she’s much too young to even consider such a thing.”</p><p>“Come on, Obi-Wan, she’s barely younger than me,” Anakin threw an arm around his shoulder, “if <em>I</em> can think she’s beautiful, so can you.”</p><p>Obi-Wan bristled at the thought of Anakin thinking <em>anything</em> about you. He internally marvled at the rising tide of jealousy, an entirely new sensation to him.</p><p>The two men reached the main entrance of the Jedi Temple as Anakin stopped to face Obi-Wan directly.</p><p>Anakin placed his hands on either side of Obi-Wan’s shoulders, suddenly appearing sincere, “truly, Master, I’m happy for you. I was worried of what might become of you without me around,” he grinned, “but it seems you’re fairing better than expected.”</p><p>Anakin turned to walk through the door as Obi-Wan starkly inquired, “and just where are <em>you</em> off to?”</p><p>Still smiling, Anakin called back, “to find Padmé.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for all of the incredibly kind responses to part 1. I absolutely loved reading all of your thoughts. please keep letting me know what you think &amp; just know that I love you all 🥺</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Captivating</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>after an unexpected connection through the force, obi-wan suddenly becomes aware of your unspoken feelings for him. a cloud of uncertainty falls over your relationship as you wait to see how he will respond.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Obi-Wan walked into the cavernous expanse of the Temple Archives. It had been a few hours since he’d left with Anakin after your training session. Anakin’s words had stayed with him, echoing in his mind. <em>How long you’ve been in love with her</em>…</p><p>Obi-Wan had felt the need to meditate before returning to you, realizing how little control he had of his emotions in your presence. The fact that he had allowed himself to foster such sentiments toward you was bad enough, but now that Anakin was aware, he wasn’t sure what to do.</p><p>Scanning the library, he finally spotted you sitting toward the end of the room across from Kit Fisto. You were eagerly leaning across the table, smiling at Kit in a way that caused Obi-Wan to clench his jaw.</p><p>“…so finally I said ‘just because I’m aquatic doesn’t mean that I go around talking to fish’,” Kit joked with a charming grin.</p><p>You and Master Fisto were laughing so hard that you had to put a hand over your mouth when Jocasta Nu, the Cheif Librarian, shot you a menacing glance.</p><p>Obi-Wan reached the table as you were finally regaining control of yourself, “hello, Master,” you smiled giddily at him.</p><p>Kit turned around, “Obi-Wan,” he exclaimed, “your padawan is great company, you should consider yourself lucky!”</p><p>“I certainly do,” replied Obi-Wan as you looked down, still smiling.</p><p>Master Fisto stood, patting Obi-Wan on the shoulder, “I’m afraid I’ve overstayed my welcome in Jocasta’s archives,” he winked at the Librarian, who continued to glare in return, “I’ll see you both in the morning.”</p><p>As you said goodnight to Kit, Obi-Wan took his place at the table, directly across from you. He glanced down at the large book sitting open in front of you.</p><p>“What have you been studying,” he asked curiously.</p><p>“I’m afraid you’ll laugh at me if I tell you,” you looked away.</p><p>“I promise I won’t,” he encouraged, “but now I’m <em>quite</em> intrigued.”</p><p>You sighed, closing the text so that he could clearly see the cover, “I’ve been searching for information on nomadic Jedi, Sentinels in particular.”</p><p>When Obi-Wan didn’t respond, you continued, “I’ve always been interested in the idea of a Knight leaving Coruscant to defend and serve people on far-off planets, in systems many of us never even get to see.”</p><p>“Is that the direction you see for yourself,” Obi-Wan questioned quietly, “leaving Coruscant?”</p><p>You met his gaze, “I’ve spent more time away from this temple than I have in it. With Master Taan, we were always moving from one mission to the next. I guess I just don’t feel quite at home here.”</p><p>Obi-Wan seemed to think for a moment, “I suppose that’s true. Your former master wasn’t much one for staying put, was she?”</p><p>You smiled fondly, “No, she wasn’t. We were here so infrequently that each time I’d return, it seemed like everything was entirely different,” the smile faded from your face, “the other padawans never really knew me either.”</p><p>You looked back up at him, “honestly, I spent most of my time here trying <em>not</em> to be seen.”</p><p>“What would you do while you were here then,” he asked, genuinely curious.</p><p>“I spent most of my time reading in the meditation gardens,” you looked at him sincerely, “that’s where I felt most like myself.”</p><p>Obi-Wan leaned back against his chair, “I don’t recall seeing much of you around the temple,” he smiled, “did you ever notice me?”</p><p>“Of course I did,” you responded without thinking. Before you could do anything to stop it, you felt him sense you through the force.</p><p>He was looking at you more alert now, attempting to work out your thoughts. Your face felt hot as you looked down at your hands, your mind swimming with memories you’d held of Obi-Wan over the years.</p><p>He reached across the table, attempting to resolve the awkward silence, “you don’t have to be…” just as his hand touched yours, your vision went blurry again.</p><p>Suddenly you were connected through the force as you had been while training, only this time, instead of sharing your vision, it was your memories on full display.</p><p>Dream-like images of Obi-Wan flickered through your mind. Brief moments from the past year when you’d seen him walking past you, laughing in the courtyard, sparring with Anakin, and then finally, meditating in the garden.</p><p>A clear image from your perspective appeared of you staring over the top of an open book across the garden at Obi-Wan. He was seated and meditating next to a small pond. The sound of water trickling echoed in your memory as you’d watched his chest move with each slow breath. Your pulse had risen as your gaze moved to Obi-Wan’s face, studying his features carefully, specifically his full, soft lips.</p><p>You stood from the table so forcefully that your chair fell backwards, slamming into the marble floor. Your eyes were watery as you took one look at Obi-Wan who appeared at a loss for words.</p><p>“I’m s-sorry,” you whispered shakily, “I have to go.”</p><p>You stepped away from the table, hurrying out of the archives, before the tears finally spilled down your face.</p><p>———</p><p>When you awoke the next morning, your chambers felt cold and empty. A harsh rainstorm was beating against your window, darkening the sky. There had been no dreams of Obi-Wan in your restless sleep. As you moved quietly around the room, preparing for the day, you became increasingly aware that you were likely to be dismissed from the Order.</p><p>After seeing your memories, there would be no way to convince Obi-Wan that you hadn’t formed an attachment to him. You winced knowing that he hadn’t just seen your memories but <em>felt</em> them as if they were his own.</p><p>He knew that your heart beat faster when you looked at him, that you’d stored those memories for a reason, that you’d intentionally gone to the gardens to be near him.</p><p>Obi-Wan would have to tell the Council. You knew that they would never allow you to continue under his teaching. For you to be so close to your Jedi Trials, to becoming a Knight, it was entirely unacceptable for you to struggle with attachments. The Council would likely see you as an unfortunate failure and dismiss you entirely. Perhaps if you were lucky, they’d still allow you to join the Service Corps.</p><p>You clipped your lightsaber to your belt, wondering if this would be the last time you were allowed inside the Jedi Temple.</p><p>As you walked through the hallways mindlessly, you passed by a few other Jedi and wondered if they could sense your distress. Pausing for a moment, you intentionally walled off your signature in the force, leaving you feeling rather numb.</p><p>You continued to pace the seemingly never-ending halls of the temple until you eventually reached the base of the central tower. A burst of lightning split the sky before thunder rumbled throughout the room. Turning toward the large, windowed doors which lead to the Temple Courtyard, your heart stopped as you saw Obi-Wan rush inside, out of the rain.</p><p>He was absolutely drenched as he quickly shut the door behind him. His hair was slicked back as droplets of water fell from his beard, soaking into his already damp tunic. He was only a few feet in front of you and there was no way to hide. Despite your mental shield, you felt him sense your presence before turning to look at you.</p><p>The rest of the room was empty and shadowed as thunder continued rolling outside, the sound of heavy rain filling the air.</p><p>Obi-Wan spoke your name gently as he closed the space between you, “I’ve been searching for you.”</p><p>You shifted uncomfortably under his sincere gaze, “I was just wandering the temple.”</p><p>“I couldn’t sense you,” he sounded hurt, “I wanted to speak to you about what happened last night, in the archives.”</p><p>You mentally drew yourself further in, “we don’t have to talk about it. I know what has to be done.”</p><p>“What do you mean,” he asked, sounding perplexed.</p><p>You looked out the window, trying to keep your tone as flat as possible, “you’ll need to report it to the High Council, they’ll find me unfit for the Order, and I will request a position in the Service Corps.”</p><p>When Obi-Wan didn’t respond, you turned around to see that he seemed rather amused at your response. It annoyed you that he wasn’t taking the situation seriously when your entire future was on the line.</p><p>“I’m not going to report you,” he spoke your name again gently, “I was searching for you so that I could <em>apologize</em>.”</p><p>Now you were entirely lost, “what do you have to apologize for?”</p><p>Obi-Wan moved as if to touch your arm before pulling his hand back, “the connection that you’re capable of forming is…powerful. I should have been more careful, more considerate, of what could happen.”</p><p>“Obi-Wan,” you realized you’d just called him by his first name but kept going anyway, “It’s <em>my</em> power to control. I didn’t even know that could happen. I didn’t know that you would see everything…<em>feel</em>everything.” Your face burned red again.</p><p>Two padawans entered at one end of the hall, talking as they passed you. Obi-Wan smiled at them politely and you stayed silent until the room was empty again, wishing you’d never said anything at all.</p><p>You couldn’t meet his eyes when he spoke again, “I’ve been asked to provide security for a meeting tonight, hosted by Senator Amidala. Several important political figures will be there. I’d like for you to join me.”</p><p>You couldn’t make sense of what he was saying. Could he really make such an exception to the rules for you? To just put everything he saw behind him as if nothing had happened?</p><p>“I’ll be there,” you spoke tentatively, finally meeting his eyes.</p><p>“Good,” Obi-Wan smiled reassuringly, “well, I’d better do something about this,” he held his arms out, gesturing to his drenched cloak.</p><p>He paused for a moment and when you didn’t reply, he walked past you with a small nod.</p><p>Turning quickly you called, “Obi-Wan!”</p><p>He looked back at you, his cerulean eyes shining, “yes?”</p><p>“Thank you,” your voice was filled with sincere gratitude.</p><p>He smiled warmly, “I’ll see you tonight.”</p><p>———</p><p>When you arrived, you quickly realized that Obi-Wan had conveniently forgotten to mention that the <em>meeting </em>being held by Senator Amidala was actually a formal event.</p><p>Senators and other political figures from throughout the galaxy were mingling in the large, ornate room. Everyone was adorned in embellished garments and the tinkling of crystal glasses could be heard across the dull roar of many voices speaking and laughing at once.</p><p>“A bit much, wouldn’t you say,” Obi-Wan quipped as he appeared suddenly at your side.</p><p>“You failed to mention this was a party,” you remarked, slightly annoyed.</p><p>“Would it have mattered,” he glanced at you.</p><p>Jedi weren’t permitted to own much of anything outside of their lightsabers and dailywear. Attachments, even to objects, were frowned upon, especially anything that drew attention to the self. A formal gown was entirely outside of the realm of possibilities, so much so that the thought alone was laughable.</p><p>Still, watching Senator Amidala walk through the room in her brilliant, golden gown caused a spark of envy. Everyone in the room watched when she passed by.</p><p>“What are you thinking,” Obi-Wan asked, snapping your attention back to him.</p><p>“It’s nothing,” you turned to him, “I don’t think you’d understand anyway.”</p><p>He laughed playfully, “a less confident man might take that as an insult to his intelligence.”</p><p>You rolled your eyes, “it’s not an insult to have been born a man…more of an unfortunate circumstance I suppose.”</p><p>Obi-Wans laughter warmed you, and you smiled in full for the first time since last night. Perhaps everything between you would really be fine after all.</p><p>The night continued on without incident for the next few hours. You and Obi-Wan made your way around the room, sensing for any disturbances in the force and making sure a safe perimeter was kept around the building. Eventually the two of you met up again near the main entrance.</p><p>“Something is still troubling you,” he looked at you directly, “I’ve sensed it all night.”</p><p>You sighed heavily, looking back to Senator Amidala and knowing there was no way around this conversation when he was so persistent.</p><p>“It’s Padmé’s gown,” you finally admitted, “I understand why Jedi aren’t allowed elaborate clothing and I <em>know</em> that I’m being foolish but she just captivates the entire room, meanwhile, I have this,” you gestured down to the same off-white tunic and leather vest you wore every day.</p><p>Obi-Wan leaned in so that he could speak softly above the noise of the crowd. He was so close that you could feel his breath against the skin of your neck as he spoke, “you don’t need a gown to be captivating.”</p><p>Your heart nearly beat out of your chest as a rush of chills ran across your body. You turned your head to respond but he was already walking back across the room.</p><p>The clinking of crystal rang out as a senator began to make a toast. Everyone stood, clapping politely before the party came to a close. Your eyes searched the room for your Master but Obi-Wan was nowhere to be found.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. This Madness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>after finding out that obi wan has left the temple suddenly without any explanation, you’re forced to wait not-so patiently for his return. emotions rise when you finally confront him in his chambers.</p>
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    <p>“He—he <em>what</em>,” you stared at Anakin in disbelief.</p><p>Anakin shook his head, “I’ve told you everything that I know. Obi-Wan said he was leaving early this morning, that he’d be back as soon as possible, and for me to let you know.”</p><p>“What kind of timeframe is ‘<em>as soon as possible</em>,’” you asked, frustrated, “and why wouldn’t he just take me with him?!”</p><p>Taking pity on you, Anakin placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder, “if it makes you feel any better, he seemed reluctant to leave as well. I’m sure it’ll be less than a week.”</p><p>You nodded, fuming, as Anakin gave your shoulder a friendly pat before leaving the hallway outside your room. You closed the door behind you and sat down on the bed, immediately rising back to your feet as you realized you were much too angry to rest.</p><p><em>How could he just LEAVE</em>, you thought, after everything that had just happened. After the way he’d spoken to you at the party.</p><p>Your hand lifted to lightly touch the side of your neck, remembering the way his words had brushed against your skin. You angrily rubbed at the space, remembering that he was gone.</p><p>After a while, your bedroom began to feel too small to contain the multitude of emotions you were attempting to reign in. You thought you might have better luck if you retreated to one of the many meditation gardens throughout the temple.</p><p>Feeling drawn toward a sense of symmetry, you decided to go to the same garden where you’d normally find Obi-Wan, the one you’d shared from your memory.</p><p>As soon as you walked into the room, smiled as the warm air embraced you. You made your way to one of the many ancient trees, settling comfortably in the lush grass and leaned against the trunk. You closed your eyes, listening to the faint trickling of water as it moved across the pebbles from one pond into the next.</p><p>You couldn’t help but glance over at the space where Obi-Wan would normally sit. Something about seeing the bank near the pond empty made your chest even tighter. You had no idea when you’d see him again or where he’d gone. You couldn’t come up with a reason why he wouldn’t have taken you, unless he was upset with you.</p><p>Your mind played and replayed the night before over and over again. He’d apologized and you had thanked him. You came to the event because he asked you to. You’d made him laugh. He seemed happy. He’d seemed more than happy…he was close to you. He’d said that you were <em>captivating</em>.</p><p>And then he left.</p><p>———</p><p>The rest of your week had been much of the same, you alone in the gardens, alone in your room, alone in the training chamber. Anakin had invited you to spar with him and Ahsoka but they ended up being called away on a mission.</p><p>It seemed as if nearly everyone had left for various reasons and the temple was more empty than ever. Sometimes, you’d only see one or two people all day. By the eighth day, you’d decided to just stay in your room.</p><p>You were meditating on your bed when you sensed it, Obi-Wan had returned. A grin slowly spread across your face before you forced it away. You were upset, you reminded yourself, you wanted an explanation. So you compelled yourself to stay where you were and <em>wait</em>. Surely, he would seek you out in your chambers and apologize for his abrupt absence.</p><p>Only, he didn’t. You waited for the rest of the afternoon until the pink glow of sunset illuminated the walls around you. Your anger faded into sadness as the realization that he wasn’t coming settled in.</p><p>Perhaps you <em>were</em> just his padawan after all. Reading between lines when you shouldn’t be. Seeing things that weren’t there. Hoping for outcomes that could never happen. Your chest felt hollow, like your heart was beginning to cave in on itself.</p><p><em>No, </em>you thought to yourself, <em>I deserve an explanation</em>.</p><p>Before you could change your mind, you were already out of your room, pacing stubbornly down the hall.</p><p>Your frustration carried you all the way to the door of Obi-Wan’s chambers and then dissolved completely, leaving you feeling quite vulnerable. Before you even had a chance to knock, the door opened.</p><p>Obi-Wan stood there observing you, leaning against the doorframe, not at all surprised by your presence. He must have sensed you coming before you even left your room.</p><p>“Would you like to come in,” he asked politely, stepping aside just enough to allow you space to walk through the doorway.</p><p>You frowned at him and entered the room, ignoring the way your heart leapt when you brushed against him.</p><p>His chambers were simple, but a palace compared to your own. Nearly the entire right wall was one giant window, overlooking the bustling skyline of Coruscant. His bed was double the size of your own, with a large bookcase to one side. A wide desk was pushed against the back wall while a small table and chairs sat to your left, topped with two freshly brewed cups of tea.</p><p>He sat down at the table, motioning to the cup, “would you like some tea?”</p><p>You swallowed hard to push down the anger burning in your chest, “where were you,” you spoke each word purposefully.</p><p>“I was meeting with a friend,” Obi-Wan responded, as if that was all the explanation you’d need.</p><p>“Why didn’t you take me with you,” you stared into him, “I am more than qualified to go wherever you go.”</p><p>“It wasn’t a question of qualification,” he spoke your name intently, “it was something that I needed to do on my own, as your master.”</p><p>“My <em>master</em>,” you sounded exasperated, “is that all this is,” you threw your hands up and began pacing the room.</p><p>“Am I just your <em>padawan</em>,” you turned to look at him, “because I’m having a hard time believing this is how things were with Anakin.”</p><p>When he didn’t respond, you walked over to the window, “you saw my memories, Obi-Wan. You told me that I was <em>captivating </em>and then you just…you left…you left <em>me</em>. Did you even think about that?”</p><p>“Of course I did,” he stood from the table, provoked by your words, “how do you not see that I spend <em>every</em> waking moment thinking about <em>you</em>.”</p><p>You spun around to face him as he stepped toward you, unable to process what he was saying. He continued, “I don’t think of anything else but you. I left <em>for</em> you, to try and put an end this…this madness. To try and stop it but I <em>can’t</em>.”</p><p>Obi-Wan grabbed your wrists, pressing your hands to rest on either side of his face, your fingers at his temples. His eyes shone with emotion as he spoke to you through the force, <b><em>let me show you.</em></b></p><p>You felt as if you no longer had the ability to breathe. He was so close, offering his mind to you, begging for connection. You closed your eyes and focused on him as you felt the force deepening the bond between you.</p><p>Obi-Wan’s memories began to come into focus as you saw yourself a million different ways. Some were just flashes of your smile, your eyes, your hand brushing against his, others were you laughing, saying his name, studying in the archives.</p><p>Then you saw bursts of many different moments in the gardens, this time from Obi-Wan’s perspective. He had watched you for days, reading, tucking a few stray hairs behind your ear, his heart beating heavily in his chest. Instead of meditating, he had been thinking about you, wondering what it would feel like to press his mouth against yours.</p><p>The connection faded as you looked up at him, your eyes wide, “you said you didn’t remember seeing me around the temple.”</p><p>Obi-Wan tenderly cupped your face in his hands, “I lied.”</p><p>He leaned down, resting his forehead against yours, whispering your name slowly, “I <em>can’t</em> love you…I don’t love you. I haven’t loved you for months, not since the moment you returned.”</p><p>Your hands were trembling as he continued, “I haven’t dreamt of you each night, searching for you in the force just to fall asleep. I haven’t touched you every chance I got, knowing that you can never be mine,” he brushed his thumb lightly across your cheek, catching your tear.</p><p>His voice was barely audible as he leaned back, looked deeply into your eyes, “I will <em>never</em> love you for the <em>rest</em> of my life.”</p><p>You couldn’t speak. The force was so thick around you as both of your emotions swirled within and throughout one another. You felt dizzy with the energy that pulsed between you.</p><p>You tangled your fingers in Obi-Wan’s auburn hair. Carefully, you leaned up until your lips were barely a breath away from his.</p><p>“<em>I’ll never love you,</em>” you whispered slowly against his mouth.</p><p>Obi-Wan suddenly pulled you into him as if he needed you to breathe. The connection between you burst through the force as both of your minds overlapped.</p><p>You felt <em>everything</em> that he was feeling, and you knew that he could sense it too. His lips were warm and soft as they pushed gently against your own. Your fingers gripped the hair at the base of his neck, willing him not to pull away.</p><p>Obi-Wan knew exactly what you wanted before you could even think it. He was a part of you, as you were of him. He deepened the kiss as your lips parted and a desperate noise escaped your throat.</p><p>His hands moved to your waist, holding you roughly against him while your hands pressed into him, pulling him closer as you kissed him feverishly.</p><p><b><em>Obi-Wan</em></b>, you spoke to him through the force, as he pulled away to look at you, <em><b>I don’t want you to stop.</b></em></p><p>He hesitated for a moment, deciphering your meaning before sliding a hand underneath your chin, tilting your face up to his as he’d done at the end of your training, what felt like a lifetime ago.</p><p>Staring at your lips, his eyes burning darkly, he responded, <b><em>then</em></b> <em><b>I won’t stop</b></em>, before roughly bringing his mouth down to yours.</p><p>He lifted you with ease, gathering a small sound from you as you felt your feet being swept out from under you. Obi-Wan’s lips never left your skin as he placed you in the middle of his bed. He leaned back for a moment to admire the sight of you laying there, just for him, before returning to place his mouth against your throat.</p><p>Everything outside the two of you had ceased to exist. It was as if the force was working as a barrier to insulate you inside a world of your own making. No fears or worries could reach you. No thoughts beyond the four walls of his room. All that existed was you and Obi-Wan.</p><p>Your mind was spinning at the sensation of being able to somehow feel both his pleasure and your own. Everything was overlapping all at once. His hands moved effortlessly across your body, knowing exactly where and how you needed to be touched.</p><p><em><b>I love you</b></em>, he gently spoke through the connection, repeating your name over and over again, <em><b>I love you, I love you</b></em>.</p><p>He groaned deeply as you moved underneath him, pulling him further against you. You needed more of him, <em>all</em> of him, and for this closeness to never end.</p><p>You gasped loudly as Obi-Wan sensed your longing and pushed into you. You were together, finally, and forever his. You blended into one another, feeling each moment, everything, <em>together</em>.</p><p>Your breathing quickened as you felt the tension building between you. Obi-Wan gripped you closer as he spoke your name, low, his voice filled with desire. Your fingers dug into the muscles at his back, begging him not to stop. You both lingered in that moment, desperate for it to never end, just before everything spun out of control.</p><p>You could have never imagined such an overwhelming wave of satisfaction as it rippled through you. For a moment it seemed as if you had literally fallen into each other and there was nothing else in the galaxy.</p><p>Obi-Wan pressed gentle, reverent kisses against your face. He began slowly along your jaw, then the corners of your mouth, then finally a single kiss against your neck.</p><p>He rolled onto his back, pressing you against him. You ran your hand lightly across his chest, memorizing the feeling as your fingers brushed over the dusting of hair there. The force bond between you melted away, bringing you back into a state of reality.</p><p>“Am I still your padawan,” you whispered, looking up at him through your eyelashes.</p><p>Obi-Wan shook his head, stifling a laugh as he traced his finger down the skin of your bare back, “only if I’m still your master.”</p><p>You grinned against his chest, some hidden part of you deeply enjoying the sound of that.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Only to Darkness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I don’t want you to go,” you mumbled, leaning into Obi-Wan’s hand as his thumb caressed your cheek.</p><p>He was sitting on the edge of the bed, fully dressed, appearing perfectly normal as if he hadn’t just spent the night bedding his padawan. You, on the other hand, were still wrapped up in the warmth of his bed, wearing nothing but the sleepy smile spread across your face.</p><p>He sighed heavily, “I’ve been called to a council meeting this morning. I <em>can’t</em> be late.” </p><p>You sat up, allowing the sheet to fall down around your waist. You smiled deviously at the hitch in his breath as he looked you over.</p><p>Obi-Wan’s hand trailed slowly downward, tracing his fingers down your neck and across the smooth expanse of your chest before pausing to gently cup your breast. You breathed heavily under his touch.</p><p>“<em>I have to go</em>,” he punctuated each word as if he were trying to convince himself more so than you.</p><p>You leaned closer, pushing slightly into his hand while looking up at him innocently, “then go.”</p><p>He moved so quickly, it took your drowsy mind a moment to realize what was happening. His mouth pressed against yours as he tangled a hand in your messy hair, holding you to him.</p><p>You couldn’t stop the pitiful whimper that escaped you. Honestly, you didn’t think you’d stood a chance against Obi-Wan’s meticulous need to arrive everywhere early, <em>especially </em>council meetings.</p><p>The force began to thicken the air around you as Obi-Wan kissed hungrily along the hollow of your throat. The hard edges of your mind unfocused as the force bond grew, layering his yearning with yours.</p><p>You reached down for him but he made a disapproving sound, <b><em>Not enough time</em></b>, he spoke through the force, <em><b>just you</b></em>.</p><p>You weren’t sure what he meant until he began kissing a line down your stomach. Obi-Wan paused just long enough to look up at your mystified expression before disappearing between your thighs.</p><p>———</p><p>When Obi-Wan eventually left, with enough time to still arrive five minutes early, he’d asked you to wait for him here. You were perfectly fine with that, seeing as you’d spent more time in his chambers over the past month than you’d spent in your own.</p><p>You enjoyed the luxury of showering in his private refresher before changing into a pair of fresh clothes that he kept here for you. You walked the perimeter of his chambers, watering the well-tended plants on his desk, and breathing in the lingering scent of Obi-Wan: a mixture of leather, tea leaves, and books.</p><p>When he still hadn’t returned after a while, you took it upon yourself to make the bed before picking one of the texts from his shelf and sitting down to read. Eventually you sensed his presence outside the door.</p><p>You beamed up as he stepped inside, only to see a grim expression painted across his face. Your chest felt tight, “what is it?”</p><p>He stepped forward but left a distance between you, “the council…” he exhaled deeply, “the council feels that it would be in the best interest of the Republic for me to join the war in a more active position.” </p><p>“That’s okay,” you sounded timid, “I would go with you.”</p><p>“<em>No</em>,” Obi-Wan snapped back, his eyes locking onto yours, “I’ve recommended that you go through your Trials immediately.” His voice was stiff and emotionless.</p><p>“But if I become a Knight…” you trailed off as the reality of what he was saying finally hit, “they’ll separate us.”</p><p>A swell of emotion threatened to burst out of your chest. You apprehensively reached through the force toward him, hoping desperately to find some reassurance, but he was completely closed off to you.</p><p>“Master Yoda will oversee your Trials,” Obi-Wan’s unwavering tone made him seem droid-like, “I’m being dispatched in the morning.”</p><p>“<em>The</em> <em>morning</em>…” you breathed out, no longer able to hold the tears as they spilled down your cheeks, “Obi-Wan, I don’t understand. Why would you choose this?”</p><p>His composure finally broke as he turned to you, “I <em>cannot</em> lead a war with you inside my mind,” his eyes burned into you, “the distraction alone could get my men killed. <em>Good men </em>laying their lives down for the Republic.”</p><p>He paused, breathing heavily as he struggled to remain in control of himself, “there is a reason that this is forbidden. Attachment leads only to darkness.”</p><p>“There is no <em>darkness</em> here,” you shouted, stepping forward to place your hands on either side of his face, “I love you, Obi-Wan, and I’m not sorry to have told you.”</p><p>He stared down, meeting your gaze. Obi-Wan slowly lifted his hands and held your wrists gently before pulling them away from his face.</p><p>“I need you to leave,” his voice sounded hollow as it slammed through you.</p><p>You flinched away from him like a wounded animal, realizing that you were no longer wanted. You stared at him for a moment, willing him to say something, to hold you, to cry and beg for your forgiveness. But he remained unmoving, eyes transfixed on the floor.</p><p>By the next morning, he was gone.</p><p>———</p><p>Two weeks passed in a blur, each day seeming somehow longer than the last, and yet feeling as if no time had passed at all. You sat in the Temple Courtyard underneath the Great Tree. Its large, yellow leaves shielded you from the sun as you thought back to your trials.</p><p>The entire High Council had been in attendance. None of them spoke, not even when your defeat of the holographic ancient Sith left you bloodied. You absentmindedly traced your finger across the fresh scar that spanned the length of your forearm.</p><p>Master Yoda removed your Padawan braid the next day and congratulated you on your Knighthood. The only thought echoing through your mind was <em>Obi-Wan should be here.</em></p><p>A man’s voice called your name, breaking your concentration. You looked up to see an unfamiliar face. He was a warrior, no doubt, with tanned skin, long dark braids, and a yellow stripe tattooed across his face.</p><p>“Obi-Wan sent me to find you,” his voice was deep and rough, not realizing that his words had punched a hole through your chest.</p><p>“When,” was all you could bring yourself to say, nearly breathless.</p><p>“A couple months ago. Tracked me down saying his Padawan was interested in getting out of the Temple life,” he sounded amused at the end.</p><p>Your mind raced, thinking back to your conversation with Obi-Wan in the archives. It seemed like a lifetime ago. He must not have thought your dreams were ridiculous after all. And when he left to <em>meet a friend</em> he was meeting with…</p><p>“I’m Quinlan by the way,” the man reached his hand down to you, “Quinlan Vos.”</p><p>You introduced yourself, shaking his hand as your mind reeled at the thought of Obi-Wan setting this all up without ever letting you know his plans.</p><p>“So, you ready to go,” Quinlan inquired, placing a hand on his hip.</p><p>“Go where,” you were entirely lost, thoughts bouncing between memories and the present.</p><p>He seemed to be growing impatient, “I’m getting you set up at a planet in the Outer Rim. It’s a small system but they could use a Jedi watching out for them. That sound like something you wanna do?”</p><p>“The council,” you questioned, gesturing with a hand back toward the Temple.</p><p>“It’s all approved. Now that you’re caught up, I’d really like to get off this planet,” he said before strolling away.</p><p>———</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>T h r e e   Y e a r s   L a t e r</b>
  </em>
</p><p>“<em>Wake up,</em>” your eyes snapped open to the sight of a large figure standing in the doorway to your small hut.</p><p>Your reflexes sprung into action as you grabbed the lightsaber from your side and jumped to your feet, holding the pulsing yellow blade against his neck. The light from your blade illuminated his face. <em>Quinlan</em>.</p><p>He’d not so much as flinched, “I’d say it’s nice to see you too but we don’t have the time,” he grabbed your arm roughly, pulling you out of the hut.</p><p>“What’s happening,” you glanced back at the village that had been your home. You hadn’t seen Quinlan in at least two years, not since he’d gotten you aquatinted with the leaders here before leaving to find his own planet to protect.</p><p>He rushed you toward his ship and you sensed him scanning the landscape through the force, “it’s the clones,” he said gruffly, “they’ve turned on the Jedi.”</p><p>The weight of his words crashed into you. Suddenly your mind was filled with flashing images of blaster fire and <em>him. </em>You swallowed hard, “has anyone survived?”</p><p>“Don’t know,” Quinlan helped you step up into the ship before closing the hatch loudly behind you, “but I’m not sticking around here to find out.”</p><p>“Where are we going,” your eyes searched the horizon through the viewport, imagining a battalion of clones turning on their generals.</p><p>“Always <em>so</em> many questions with you,” Quinlan sounded annoyed, “I’d hoped your years out here would give you more of a taste for spontenaity.”</p><p>“Old habits die hard,” you said flatly as the ship rose into the atmosphere.</p><p>———</p><p>You and Quinlan spent the next several months in hiding together, believing that two Jedi would be harder to kill than one. More news of the war spread to the outer reaches of the galaxy and you learned of the Temple falling along with the Republic itself.</p><p>There was no way to know how many Jedi were left. For all you knew, the two of you might be the last. You’d spent most of your time on backwater planets, Quinlan hunting for food while you mostly just tried to stay out of his way.</p><p>Eventually, clones began showing up even on the smallest planets, patrolling cities and villages alike. It became increasingly apparent that you couldn’t continue to bounce around the Outer Rim forever and would have to find somewhere to lay low, potentially for a <em>very</em> long time.</p><p>You were falling asleep in the passenger seat of Quinlan’s ship when you reached out through the force. It was a routine you’d formed years ago. Something you’d done every night since the day <em>he</em>left. It had been almost four years of nothing. Never feeling his signature. Never knowing if he were even alive.</p><p>But then you felt it, the smallest spark of <em>him</em>. You gasped loudly, causing Quinlan to spin around, lightsaber in hand.</p><p>“What’s wrong,” he shouted, eyes scanning the ship.</p><p>“It’s Obi-Wan,” you were nearly weeping, “he’s <em>alive</em></p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. For You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You had Quinlan pull out of hyperspace to find the coordinates of the closest system.</p><p>Scanning the map, you pointed, “it’s there, Tatooine.”</p><p>Quinlan looked skeptical, “how do you know he’s there?”</p><p>“I just know,” you said sharply, “I felt him.”</p><p>He shook his head before setting the coordinates, “we need to split up anyway. I’ll help you track him but if we don’t find him in the next two days, I’m leaving.”</p><p>“Fine,” you agreed, taking your seat behind him.</p><p>You’d been reaching for Obi-Wan’s signature since you’d first felt it but he was completely walled off again. It felt like you were calling out in a dark room, only hearing the echo of your voice in return. But you were sure that you’d felt him, <em>absolutely</em>sure.</p><p>When you landed, Quinlan began the search. He used a combination of his psychometric tracking skills and his experience with the Hutt underworld to gather some information. There wasn’t much, but it was enough to give you hope. Whispers of a man living beyond the Dune Sea.</p><p>You and Quinlan arrived near the suggested location the next morning. Your speeders drew to a stop as you neared a simple house situated on a bluff with a large cave just below. The cave appeared to be a workshop of sorts, filled with different bits of scrap metal and droid parts.</p><p>As you approached the house, Quinlan noted, “if he’s out here, this’ll be the place.”</p><p>You reached out through the force, but again, there was nothing. Your heart was beating out of control as Quinlan approached the door. No answer. He continued to search the property before returning back to you.</p><p>“He <em>was</em> here,” he said directly, causing your pulse to race, “but it’s been a while.”</p><p>“He’ll come back though,” you were nearly shouting from excitement, “he obviously lives here!”</p><p>“I’m not sure,” Quinlan looked at you with as much empathy as he had, “from what I can tell, Obi-Wan hasn’t been here in a while. Weeks even.”</p><p>You shook your head defiantly, “I felt him two days ago, Quinlan. He’s here somewhere.”</p><p>“That might be true,” he sounded tired, “or he could have been caught by any one of those clones in town. Or you may not have sensed him at all.”</p><p>“I <em>know</em> what I felt,” you were holding back your frustration, “he’s not dead.”</p><p>“Whether he is or isn’t, it’s not safe for me to be here,” he looked out across the Dune Sea, “it’s only a matter of time before someone from town realizes who I am.”</p><p>“I’m not leaving,” you crossed your arms.</p><p>Quinlan was unaffected, as if he expected you to say it all along. “Be safe,” he placed a hand on your shoulder, “I hope I see you again.”</p><p>You wanted to hug him but knew that he’d hate it, so you settled for a firm nod instead.</p><p>———</p><p>After Quinlan left, you took a seat leaning against the front door. You kept expecting Obi-Wan to walk up at any moment. You continued reaching out for him through the force, hoping that somehow he’d feel you, even with his own mind shielded.</p><p>Hours passed until night fell over the dunes. The desert air quickly froze, just minutes after the twin suns dipped beneath the horizon. After a moment of deliberation, you used the force to break the lock on the front door. </p><p>With a gentle hand, you slowly opened the door and looked around the empty home. It was one large room. A small table and chairs sat to your right, a kitchen to the left with a bedroom toward the back of the house. As you stepped inside your heart pounded at the sight of books laid on nearly every surface, small reminders of Obi-Wan scattered around you. </p><p>Shivering, you noticed a fireplace to the side of the room. You quickly ignighted the logs and huddled in the middle of the bed as the house slowly warmed under the fire’s orange glow. Breathing in deeply, you realized the worn blankets surrounding you smelled like <em>him</em>. Without really meaning to, you drifted off to sleep.</p><p>You woke up some time later, shivering uncontrollably. The fire had burnt down to embers, leaving only a faint glow illuminating the room. You crawled off the bed, reaching for more firewood when your ear caught the sound of the door creaking. You spun around, heart pounding, and there in front of you stood Obi-Wan. </p><p>He carefully lowered the hood of his robe, his face looking weary, older than you’d expected. “O-Obi-Wan,” your voice caught in your throat.</p><p>When he spoke, it was just above a whisper, his eyes searching your own, “why have you come here?”</p><p>“For <em>you</em>,” you sounded weak, the sound of your heart pounding in your ears “I’m here for you.”</p><p>He shook his head slowly, “I sent you away…why would you—how could,” he struggled to form words around the emotion swelling in his voice.</p><p>“Because I love you,” you moved closer, stopping when he stepped back. </p><p>The small rejection stabbed through you. You breathed deeply, steadying yourself, “Quinlan found me, he told me that you searched him out. I know that you left to give me the future that I wanted.”</p><p>His eyes finally met yours, shining with emotion, “I wanted you to be <em>safe</em>,” he spoke your name softly, as if he was savoring the very sound of it.</p><p>“<em>I know</em>,” you reached for him and this time, he didn’t move away. You placed your hands against his face, the same as you’d done years ago on the day that he left. His breath shuddered as he reached up to gently caress the back of your hands.</p><p>He leaned his forehead down to rest against your own, “I wanted to find you, to search for you, but I <em>couldn’t</em>.” He cradled your cheek against his rough palm and you leaned into his touch.</p><p>“So much has happened…so much <em>pain</em>,” he closed his eyes as a single tear escaped, “I wouldn’t have been able to keep you safe.”</p><p>He stopped speaking and you felt him trembling, intently trying to regain control over the grief that threatened to consume him. After a heavy breath, he whispered, “I never stopped loving you. Not for a moment.”</p><p>You leaned into him with a desperate kiss, unable to wait any longer. He dropped the barriers around his mind and you gasped as the force bond enveloped you both for the first time in years. Your heart beat wildly as you and Obi-Wan became one, feeling all of the heartache, pain, and joy that now threaded through you both. </p><p>His hands trailed down your sides, grasping at the fabric there before slowly lifting the tunic off of you. He kissed you feverishly as his rough hands traced your skin. <b><em>I love you</em></b>, he spoke through the force, the thought echoing in your mind, <b><em>I love you, I love you</em></b>…</p><p>He placed you carefully on the bed, leaning over you while pressing soft kisses across your jaw and neck. Obi-Wan gripped you tightly, as if afraid that you might disappear at any moment.</p><p>You pulled at his robe, aching to feel him closer. He removed it along with his tunic so that his skin was burning against your own. Your fingers traced the lean muscles of his back, feeling the faint, jagged lines of many unfamiliar scars. A pang of sorrow rippled through the force bond as you envisioned him being wounded <em>so</em> <em>many</em> times.</p><p><em><b>I’m alright</b></em>, he held you somehow closer as a warm reassurance extended from him, washing over you.</p><p>You raised his large hand to your lips, kissing each finger delicately, <em><b>I’ll never leave you again</b></em>, you pressed a slow kiss into the center of his palm.</p><p>He groaned lowly and you felt the smoldering need radiating from him. Your heart beat heavily as you lowered his hand allowing the tips of his fingers to glide across your chest. Your name escaped his lips as a pleading murmur.</p><p><b><em>I’m yours, Obi-Wan</em></b>, you arched against him as his restraint finally broke. His hands moved roughly against your delicate skin, not needing the force to guide him.</p><p>———</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>S o m e T i m e L a t e r</b>
  </em>
</p><p>You sat at the small table, the last light of sunset pouring over you through the open window. Obi-Wan placed a kiss on the top of your head as he sat a cup in front of you, steam swirling off of the hot tea.</p><p>He strolled over to the open door and called out, “Luke!”</p><p>A little boy ran to the door, practically covered in sand, “come on, just five more minutes, Uncle Ben?”</p><p>Obi-Wan sighed heavily, “alright, but no longer than that.”</p><p>Luke hugged him quickly before sprinting back outside, playing with one of the many model spaceships that Obi-Wan had built for him.</p><p>You were beaming up at Obi-Wan as he took a seat across from you, watching the boy through the window as a faint smile spread across his face.</p><p>You reached out to take his hand, sensing nothing but overwhelming and absolute love</p>
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